What to talk about in therapy: twelve starting points

Many people worry about running out of things to say, or about saying the wrong thing. There is no wrong thing. Whatever is on your mind is the material, including “I do not know what to talk about today”.

Twelve places to start

1. What has taken up the most space in your head this week?
2. A moment when you reacted more strongly than the situation deserved.
3. Something you have been avoiding.
4. A conversation you keep replaying.
5. How you have been sleeping, eating and moving.
6. A relationship that is weighing on you.
7. What you noticed after the last session.
8. Something you have never said out loud.
9. A decision you are stuck on.
10. What you wish were different in six months.
11. A pattern you have spotted in yourself.
12. How therapy itself is going, including what is not working.

When you feel there is nothing to say

Quiet weeks are often when the deeper material surfaces, because you are not busy with a crisis. Say that nothing feels urgent and see where the conversation goes. Silence in a session is not a failure. It is thinking time.

Things worth telling your therapist

• If something they said did not sit right with you.
• If you are holding something back.
• If you are thinking about stopping.

Good therapists welcome this. Talking about the relationship between you is often some of the most useful work.

A practical tip: keep a note on your phone and add a line whenever something comes up between sessions.

This article is general information, not medical advice. If you are in crisis, please use the resources on our Get help now page.